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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "talhonjik" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
01:28 pm
[Link] | Maybe I should update ... don't think I have in a while. Life can be so damn ... humourous sometimes ... and confusing. I really don't know what's going on anymore in certain fields of my existence; it's just all too difficult. "Giving up" is not a phrase I use often, but maybe I should ... not that this is something you really CAN give up, as such - as my friend said once. I do hate to be cryptic about this, but you never know who's goig to read this, and I just have to get it all off my chest somehow, even if no-one understands a frikkin' word of what I'm saying ... or maybe I should talk to someone. I guess that would be the right thing to do in the situation, tell someone, get someone to talk to ... but then again, what would that really achieve? Someone to say "Oh gosh, I am sorry, poor you, now go away, I've finished talking to you" to me or whatever ... what I mean is, what would it really do to help me? I got a new blog the other day, in my other language ... oh, the joys of being bilangual. (hmm ... is that how it's spelled?) I'm not giving the link to it here though ... if you know me in the right way, you'll find it, trust me. Poem Of The Day: I DO have one ... but unfortunately I can't really post it here, seeing as it was just a messy jumble of sentences that make a picture if you look at it in the right way. Maybe I'll scan it one day or something ...
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09:07 pm
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Words of you Just a short piece about a person I know … some kind of cross between a rambling of thoughts and poetry. It doesn’t say everything about them, because, let’s face it, you can never say anything about such a complicated person as this is … actually, you can never say everything about anyone – everyone’s complicated, in their own way … but some people are more than others, I guess … Anyway, this’ll have to pass for today’s entry as well as Poem Of The Day. Ooh, a two-in-one offer …
Can you paint a picture with words? Let me try ... ... try to paint a picture of you? Is it possible? All the facets and all the colours of your mind, to put them all into words? Isn't that a little like taking a free bird from a forest, from its home, and putting it in a cage in a city? You can't trap a living thing - a trapped thing is a dead thing. Sometimes I look at you, and I believe you are one of the dead ones ... the ones whose eyes contain no life, those who have lost it. I know you are in danger of becoming one of those ... of losing first the life from their eyes, and then the life from their soul ... and after that, there is no life for them. To think that you could go down that road frightens me - I will not let you. I've seen too many people start down that way. I turned then round, I turned them all round, and if you go that way, I will turn you round, no matter what it takes. I gave all I had to save someone I loved from that road, and I would give it all again for you. But sometimes I look in your eyes and I see life ... what life. A fire, almost … and it’s indeed fire that I feel from you. I know when you enter the room, because I can feel the fire of your soul from more distance than I had thought was possible. It’s not always nice, that fire of yours. Sometimes it feels cruel and almost lonely somehow – as if that is what you are feeling. Maybe it is – I wouldn’t know. All I know is I don’t want it to be cruel and bitter and afraid, because no one deserves to feel that way. It’s all so stupid, really … the fact that someone like you has a life like the one you have is so stupid somehow. I know what you’ve done, and I know what people say, but I know it isn’t your fault … you can’t help what you are, any more than the rest of us can. Maybe all you need is for someone to show you the right direction … but could I? I don’t know. What do I see when I look at you … I see, among the other things, an element of what I was then, and another of what I am now. Maybe that’s why I want to help you – in a way, I am helping the person I was, being the one who wasn’t there for me. And that is probably all you need – someone to be there for you, someone to help you. I’ve already said too much – if I were to trap the whole picture, it wouldn’t be you any more, it would be a dead image of you. So I’ll leave off the picture here, leaving the rest to you … be alive for me. That’s all I want.
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09:23 pm
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Passage of time and college courses Yes, it’s been another holiday. Another ten days. Another part of my life, gone and finished. Is that sad? Why should it be? Time passes, whether we want it to or not ... isn’t it a waste of effort to be sad about a thing like that? The way I see it, things we can’t help aren’t worth being sad about. Why regret what we couldn’t have done anything about, even if we had wanted to? And then, even if we could do something to stop time passing the way it does, would we really want to? If time never passed, if nothing ever changed, if everything was always the same, do you know how much we would miss? Just think about your own life ... would you have wanted everything to stop, say, five years ago, or ten, and miss everything that’s happened since then? The good things that were wonderful, and the bad things that became experience, and will help you later on? No, being sad about the passage of time is ridiculous. It’ll happen anyway, and it would be more horrible than anything else if it didn’t. No, what we should be sad about is not making the time we have interesting. That is something we can help, and if we don’t, we should be sad that we didn’t try to help. In short: Time passes, and there’s nothing you can do about that. Just try to make that time as good as possible, since it’s going to come your way anyway. Now … what was the point of this, you ask? The point was, in fact, to make clear my feelings at the moment. I’m not sad the holiday is over. I am sad, on the other hand, that I hardly did a thing in it, while I meant to, could have and should have. I didn’t make the most of it. But that brings us to another fact, and that is that what’s done is done, and if you can’t do anything about it afterwards you shouldn’t worry about it. That is exactly the point. There still are some things I can get done, even if I didn’t do them in the holiday, and I still mean to get them done. (Whether I actually end up doing so or not is another question entirely, and irrelevant here … the fact is, I could.) Now let’s brighten up and get to the good news. Well, it’s totally useless news to the rest of the world, of course, but it matters to me. I’ve chosen a course at my college. A pretty good job, too, I feel, seeing as I now have ... erm ... 16 hours and 44 minutes until the closing date for handing in my paper. It’ll possibly affect my whole life, I know. But I feel I made the best choice in the matter, and what the hey. I can always change again, or, better still, just take another course after this one. Ah, it does feel good, though, to have chosen a course ...
Things I Did Not Do Today: *Spell the word “phoenix” wrong. I’m very talented at misspelling that particular word, you know ... *Take over the world. I did try, though, I’ll admit ...
No Poeme Du Jour today, but I do have a nice quote ... "Love? Well actually it's a lot like getting hit in the face with a frying pan ..."
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02:10 pm
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Easter holiday. Whoopety-frikkin'-doo Easter holiday should be a happy occasion, right? No school, no school, and, erm … no school. Yeah. Fun. … Damn. I can try and try to convince myself I’m really glad it’s the holiday … but no. It doesn’t work. I almost feel guilty, you see, because of all the people I know, knew or will know somewhere in time, past, present or future, that are/were/will be at that particular moment not on holiday, are/were/will be at school or studying, and are/were/will be in tears, thinking about how wonderful it would be to be a person who actually IS on holiday, i.e. not them. And then here I am, thinking that I’m not actually enjoying being on holiday, almost wishing I could just go back to school – what an ungrateful person I am sometimes. What is it I miss about school, I hear you cry? I miss my friends. I miss my Bimmibi and my Bainoth and my Hrefna; I miss sitting with them in lessons, rolling my eyes with Hrefna at the other two’s sometimes … erm … overly friendly behaviour, exchanging glances with all three of them when we find something amusing. I miss my other friends in other classes, from Calani to the aptly named Easter Bunny to Kaycie. I miss all of them. I also miss my class as a whole; all the different people that make it such a fun class to be in, everything they say throughout the day. I also miss the lessons themselves (Danish excluded, naturally), the Maths, the French, the Sociology. Hell, I even miss the teachers. I miss everything we do at school when we’re not having lessons, the people who get up on stage and say things, everything. I miss being at school. God, I’m pathetic. Good things do happen, though – or not happen. Danish, for example. That doesn’t happen in the holidays. :-D Although watching the Matrix with Danish subtitles and German voiceovers can be fun … Incidentally, did you know there are some people who will eat their own exam papers? A boy in my class did a bet whether he would eat his Maths exam … and he did. It was actually sort of funny, in a weird way, to watch his sit there at the back of the classroom, calmly taking bites out of his paper, like it was a sandwich or something … some people will do anything. Oooh, and roleplay … roleplay is a good thing. Roleplay is a good thing that happens in the holidays … Whoohoo. I suppose good things do happen. BTW, I love Checkmated. I’ve been living there this morning, and I do believe it’s kept my sanity intact – or as intact as it gets, anyway ...
Things I Did Not Do Today: *Rob a bank. We must get round to that, RonandHerm4eva … *Take over the world. I’m working on this one, though, believe me … *evil laughter*
Poem Of The Day: (No-one died, really. I just came up with this one out of the blue … it got some sadness out of my head, though, so that’s a good thing)
Lament
Do you feel as sad as I? Does your heart bleed Does it cry? Did this death affect you too or do you even know?
Do you know who died last night? Know who fought their last fight? Do you know quite how they felt As their life slipped away?
Will you come and mourn with me? Will you cry Will you be by my side as we will say farewell to those who’ve gone?
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04:42 pm
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Apathy I remember one day ... ... I remember the day I woke up to feel ... nothing. I got out of bed out of habit; not because I felt a particular desire to do so, but I vaguely knew I should. I greeted the other people in the house, again, out of habit, feeling I didn't care whether they were there or not. I remember this sort of, almost, worried me; but not really. I wasn't awfully bothered by anything at all. Nothing seemed to matter, somehow ... I greeted the other people, behaving normally, not because I was worried that they might find it odd if I didn't, but because it was habit. I didn't care what they thought, I don't think I could have cared for anything. I spent the next few hours sitting, staring out into space, not thinking about anything. It wasn't that I couldn't think of anything to do ... if I concerntrated, I could remember the usual things that I often did to amuse myself in the morning ... but I didn't feel I had to do them. I didn't feel I had to do anything. I didn't want to, because I didn't care. So I just did nothing, because it was the most conserving thing. I really didn't care. I vaguely wondered whether I cared if I was alive, and I realised (not to my surprise, because I didn't feel that either) that I didn't. I was alive, but only because I wasn't dead ... and it didn't really matter to me at that moment. Nothing did. I wouldn't have cared if I had died at that moment, I think ... thinking back on it, the thought scares me. I didn't feel anything and it frightens me; but I didn't really care at the time. The only thing I really remember thinking and properly caring about was "So this is what complete lack of emotions feels like ..." I remember I found it interesting. Nothing else. I didn't even feel boredom at that stage ... just ... emptiness. Nothing. Then, after about six hours, my feelings began to come back. First it was a vague sense of something being wrong ... and then everything came back - it was like it had just overslept or something, and had now woken up and was running, realising it was late. I cried when it did. - This really happened to me, just a few weeks back ... I find it frightening that it did. I don't know what this is ... it's happened before, but usually I just feel rather emotionally numb ... I've never had everything just ... pack up and go away before. The reason I'm writing this is that I think it's happening again. I can already feel that sort of empty, useless feeling in my chest ... I think soon I won't care if I post this or not. I don't know what this is ... maybe it's some kind of automatic mental defence against pain, when the mind decides it doesn't want any more ... I think I'll go and try and sleep this off now, maybe that'll make it better ...
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04:33 pm
[Link] | I'm bored. Hmm ... yes. Bored just about sums it up. Although there's something else with it ... something happened today that's been making me feel very ... blue. It's stupid, but it's there. Damn ... I think I'll try not thinking about it, that sometimes works to make things go away. Erm ... what else is new that I can talk mindlessly about? I'm reading the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy ... wicked book. :-) We've got it in this huge, hardcover edition that I'm sure could double as a weapon; I mean, if you were to throw that thing at someone, they would HURT. Hmm ... interesting idea for an experiment: "Is it physically possible to rob a bank armed only with a hardcover edition of The Hitchhiker's Guide (and a towel, of course ... can't go wrong with a towel)?" I can picture it ... "Okay, NOBODY MOVE! I have a book and I'm not afraid to use it!!!" Hmmmm ... Things I Did Not Do Today: *Take over the world. (you know the drill, people ... too busy, and never get round to it ...) *Do something sensible (this I might get round to today, if I'm lucky ...) Well, the long-awaited Poem of the Day. It got quite long, but I felt I had a lot to say in it ... war is a terrible thing. You've got to remember it's not just the soldiers that get hurt ... innocent people, even children, can die too.
A Child in War
God, won’t you listen? no-one else will Mother’s too frightened and Father’s too ill The people outside they’re screaming and running They ask you to help us they say that “They”re coming
God, the men came today took Father away They don’t know that he’s ill for he didn’t say Mother cried when they went because they said Father must go and fight -God, is he dead?
God, now there’s shooting it started today Mother says if I’m quiet “They”ll go away God, now I’m frightened more than before I asked what was happening Mother said “War.”
God, it’s been three days Everything’s still Father’s not come back I don’t think he will Mother’s not crying now She says it’s over soon God what does she mean by it “The planes will be here before noon”?
God, I hear thunder but it doesn’t rain When I asked Mother she said “It’s a plane” She says that the bombs will come before noon God, now I’m happy; She says we’ll see you soon.
God, look after Father until we arrive ‘Cos I know he talked to you while he was alive Now mother hugs me as she starts to cry God, I hear the thunder as Mother says goodbye.
Fin.
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10:06 pm
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Life's pointy end ... Life, huh. Just when you think you've got it figured, that you know all the blunt ends from the pointy ends, so to speak, you sit down only to discover your seat has teeth ... I shall say no more on this. Cryptic but says it all. Anyway ... my choir conductor made a sort of speech today. I thought it was so sad ... there's been all this fuss, you see, about a priest in another part of the country who abused a child, a boy, I think it was. So anyway, there's quite a lot of young girls in the choir, and although the speech was mainly directed to them, he made it quite clear he meant it to us older girls, as well. He talked about how horrible it was that things like this could happen, that they happened with people we should be able to trust, i.e. the people of the church. He told us that this meant we couldn't trust them. He said we shouldn't trust 100% in any of these people, because it was obvious we ... well ... couldn't. He told us we even couldn't trust him (although of course he added that he would never, ever do anything like that). Some of the ... erm ... more teenage girls thought this was very funny, and I could see most of the rest of them didn't take it very seriously. I can't understand them. This is a very serious issue, and everything he said was absolutely true; this does mean we can't really trust any of these people we're supposed to be able to trust completely when we can't trust in anyone else. If we can't trust them, then who can we trust? I try not to take that point of view, but sometimes I really do think the world is turning into something different; some kind of living, breathing, spinning hell. Right, that's as far as that's going to go, I won't go any further down those thoughts, they're horrid. Poem of the day update: I've got a long one coming, so none today ... wait for it. Things I Did Not Do Today: *Take over the world (...) *Eat pie. Pie goooood ...
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09:04 pm
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Boooored ... I've come to a conclusion, after some time spent investigating: Time off does not pay off. And how did I come to this marvellous conclusion, I hear you cry? I tried it. I realised I hadn't really had any time just doing nothing for ages, so I kept tonight free, just to be able to sit down, and say "Ah ... doing nothing." So I was careful to finish everything I had to do today by this afternoon, and I've not done anything since then. By six o'clock I was bored. By seven I was BORED. By eight I was ... I don't know ... BORED doesn't seem big enough. I tried watching telly. Nothing on. Typical. My friends all out at avrious places - acting practises, roleplaying ... no-one was in to talk to me when I called round. I've just finished the book I was reading, and don't want to start another one until I get my Belgariad (end of the week, with any luck *cheers*), so I didn't read. I couldn't think of anything to draw, so I didn't do that, either. Well ... that left homework. DANISH homework. (oh come on ... that's not really HOMEWORK-homework ... and the teacher's pissed at you whether you do it or not) But I was desperate by then, and so ... I did my Danish homework. Well. That took five minutes, and I was so desperately bored by this point that it actually, yes, my DANISH homework, actually improved my mood. But it was soon over; soon I knew all about some Swedish skiing place called Åre, as seen in a Danish travel booklet. Oh joy. So ... what to do then? The thing I did next was cruel and unusual, and if I had not been on the verge of insanity-by-boredom I would not have done it. Yes people. I did MORE Danish work. I knew what we're going to be doing tomorrow, so I thought, what the heck, and finished that as well. (Tomorrow's me will, I hope, be grateful when she realises I've done her lesson's work for her ... although knowing her she won't be. Ungrateful little thing she is.) Whoopee ... ... and then what??? So now here I am, sitting at the PC, writing absolutely pointless tosh, excuse my language, knowing no-one will read it. I know I wouldn't want to read about someone else's homework, anyway. Yes, I have indeed come to the conclusion that time off does not pay off. Well, here's a Poem of the Day for those of you patient enough to get this far:
The words spinning round in my head, too fast for me, going wrong Coming out twisted like broken glass Always broken glass Think I’ve trapped a muse in my mind Sick and twisted and beautiful as an angel’s wings beautiful but inhumanly vast Relentless Tormenting me, screaming at me in a velvet whisper Tearing at my soul with a fairy’s fingertips, exposing my blood to the world
Current Mood: bored Current Music: Some old stuff with Elton John
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03:28 pm
[Link] | Excuse me while I squeal. ... Right. I just found a scan of a poster for one of the films of the year, PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. :-D WOOT. I don't know a better word for it. Ever since I heard Phantom for the first time I've been longing to see a film of it (a proper film, mind you; that cheap horror flick a few years ago doesn't count, and I'm not into silent movies ...) and now I quote: "Coming To Cinemas December 2004" which you will hopefully realise is THIS YEAR! I would go on about it being THE film I want to see this year, but Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is coming too ... (and I shall not discuss Troy here ;) ... all I can say is WOOT.) Anyway, that poster is going up on my wall. So ... Circle of Death day tomorrow; or "running-round-school-with-a-waterpistol" day. I reckon that should be fun, especially as I get really paranoid when I'm playing it, jumping whenever anyone talks to me. Great fun. I've been planning strategies, people, so watch your backs ... ;) I come prepared. *hefts waterpistol (crossbow in disguise, of course)* Things I Did Not Do Today: *Push my Danish teacher out the window. Not that this would do much good, really, seeing as the classroom's on the ground floor ... *Take over the world. Damn. That's getting quiter urgent now ...
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04:58 pm
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Interesting ... the stuff you find out about yourself sometimes ...
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09:27 pm
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Among the things I did not do today: Go see Sarah Brightman live in concert I don't believe it. The unthinkable has happened. I know someone who's been to a Sarah Brightman concert. I had always expected to eventually know someone who had, seeing as I know quite a few SB fans ... but I had always expected that "someone" to include ME. Turns out it's not. I've just read Bluedaisy's latest LJ, and apparently she went to a concert with god - I mean Sarah Brightman - on Friday night. My life is over ... *dies* I knew she was on her Harem tour at the moment, but I also knew she wasn't going anywhere I could possibly go and see her ... as in not in the right country ... Damn. Oh well, there's always next time ... surely she can stop over here on her next tour ... ;-) *note to self: Kidnap Sarah Brightman and stick her on stage here* *note to self part II: kidnap Josh Groban and stick him on stage as well* *note to self part III: Oh, hell, might as well take Andrea Boccelli too while I'm at it* Hmm ... I see quite a decent concert in the making here ...
Things I Did Not Do Today: *Go to a Sarah Brightman concert *Take over the world - must get round to that ...
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01:30 pm
[Link] | I am 31% Geek
 You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing.
Take the Geek Test at fuali.com
What, only 31%??? I demand a recount, your honour ... 31 measly percent is pathetic ... :P
 :: how jedi are you? ::
...woot ...
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06:11 pm
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My face hurts I hate the dentist ... just had a filling replaced. I'm still recovering from having a needle stuck in my mouth, and the anaesthetic is just reaching that wonderful stage where you can feel it's starting to hurt but it's still numb as hell. HUZZAH for filling replacement.
Talhonjik in Operation: Thirst Strike | In this edge-of-your-seat spy thriller, talhonjik (Salma Hayek) is a retired soldier with a less than relevant background. She needs to track down bleh (Sean Connery) before the seemingly innocent duh (Kate Winslet) blackmails him. Without ever taking time to reload, she brings down a hidden warehouse, twenty-two days too late. Early predictions are that this will be the highest grossing movie of all gross movies. | | |
Kewl ... so that's what the movie of my life would be like ...
Oh, and let's hear it for Flower, who says she's going to get my Pirates of the Caribbean video round to me tonight! *cheers* That girl seems to crop up a lot towards the end of my LJ entries, doesn't she ...?
Oh, incidentally, those names in my "movie plot" were meant to be names no-one would use, I don't know those people at all ... heh. Who would have thought there were actually users called "Duh" and "Bleh"?
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04:39 pm
[Link] | Whoohoo ... I just went to a lecture at school on how to be a real man. Finally I can fulfill my dream of becoming a man, despite the fact that I am female, all thanks to my wonderful Maths teacher ... (if you don't go to the same school as me you probably won't understand much of this, but don't fret, I'm just rambling) So. Anyway. I added a whole lot of people to my friends list today, in relation to a post on Checkmated, bless its little heart. Wheeeeee. I was just reading some articles on a site which shall remain anonymous, but seems to be some sort of site for goths to express themselves. And it's all the same material, really, just a few articles, two or three, written again and again, with different words and the occasional original spelling mistakes ... "Goths/kids today are being stereotyped/repressed" and "Religion/the government is dead/unimportant/messed up" are recurring themes here. I reckon there's goths and there's goths; or rather, there's people who wear black clothes and are reasonably ... calm people, and there's people who're ... commercial goths and go around saying "I'm a goth, oh look, I wear black and I'm really pissed at the world!!!11" I myself am neither; although black's stylish, I woldn't define myself as someone who wears almost only black. Oh, and GO FLOWER, who's taking part in the school singing contest tonight with a song she wrote herself. We've rounded up a cheering squad for her, so i guess it's off to make posters for now ... ;-)
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08:32 pm
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Regarding Talhonjik Ooh, lookie ... a profile on me:
1. Full name: Not here luv
2. Nicknames: Talhonjik, Mimi (but do NOT call me that ...)
3. Eyes: Dark brown
4. Height: No idea, I can never remember
5. Hair: Brown, blonde streaks
6. Siblings: Yes, a younger brother
7. Do u like to sing in the shower? Depends on what shower it is ... if the sound echoes well enough, I do
8. Do u like to sing in the toilet? Do people do that? I know I don’t
9. Birthday: June 12th
10. Sign: Work it out people??? Gemini, if you can't ...
11. Address: I have one, yes
12. Sex: Female
13. Do u know sumone whoz been cheated on? Maybe
14. Have u ever been cheated on? Nope
15. Have u cheated? No ...
16. Martial Status: Single
17. Do u have a car? No
18. What kinda car do u have/want: Look. In my eyes, there are three kinds of cars: Small cars, big cars, and REALLY big cars, often called buses. I don't know a THING about cars and can't answer this.
:::: FAVOURITES QUESTIONS ::::
19. Movie: Varies - Shrek always comes high on the list, though, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Pirates of the Caribbean ...
20. Song: Again, varies. On average, though, I suppose Caribbean Blue by Enya wins.
21. Band/Singer: I have a lot of favorites, including f.i. Josh Groban, Enya, Evanescence, Sarah Brightman and Nightwish
22. TV Show: No special one ... don't watch TV that much any more.
23. Actor: Sean Connery rules, as does Alan Rickman
24. Actress: Hmm ... hard one ... Nicole Kidman, probably
25. Food: Spaghetti carbonara
26. Number: Why do people have favorite numbers? I don't really see the point, they're just ... well ... numbers
27. Cartoon: Quite a few ... Ranma 1/2, Chobits, Sandman ...
28. Muppet Character: Miss Piggy
29. Colour: varies
30. Do u plan on having any kids: Oh GOD no, currently I couldn't imagine ever having kids
31. Do u want to get married: Maybe
32. How old do u wanna b when u have your first child: I already said that at the moment I don't ever plan to have kids
33. How old do u wanna be when u get married: Old enough
34. Do u wanna have kids before marriage: I've already answered this ... no kids thank you
35. How many kids do u want: Lalala ... already answered ...
36. Do you have a b/f or g/f (who): Not at the moment
37. Do u have a crush: Is that any of your business ...?
38. Music/TV: Music
39. Guys/Girls: In what context?
40. Green/Blue: Blue
41. Pink/Purple: Purple
42. Summer/Winter: Winter
43. Night/Day: What time of night and what time of day?
44. Hangin Out/Chillen: Erm ... yes ...? :S
45. Dopey/Funny: Both, to a certain extent
46. gay Saying I Have: Not sure I have a "gay saying" ...
47. What school do u go to? MA, the local college
48. Have u ever taken drugs? No
49. Whats a major turn on (on the opposite sex)? A beautiful mind behind a beautiful smile ...
50. How far would u go on a first date? Depends on who he is and what he's like
51. The person u know who is a nobody? Now really ... would I give any names? Plus, nobody's a nobody when it all comes down to it ...
52. Which 5 people do u trust and are open wif da most? Open with? Hmm ...
53. What do u think of soul mates? They're very nice, honey ... no, really, I don't know. Maybe they exist.
54. Is it rite to flirt if u have a b/f or g/f? Hmm ... does my significant other know I'm doing it ...?
55. Wat was the last thing u cried or was teary eyed over? Can't remember
56. Wats sumthing about guys/girls u don't get? Remarkably, I get boys pretty well ... but I don't get why most girls always have to go out of their way to complicate things, and can never just say stuff.
57. R u happy? At the moment? Yeah. All the time? No, of course not
58. Why? Why am I happy? I dunno ... sometimes I just am
59. Wats an object u can't live with out? My picture file
60. Love or Lust? Under what circumstances? Sometimes one, sometimes the other ...
61. Silver or Gold? Silver
62. Diamond or Pearl: Diamonds
63. Sunset or Sunrise: Sunset
64. Have u ever gone skinny-dipping? No
65. Do sleep wif stuffed toys? One, my old teddy
66. Do u have any piercings: Yeah, pierced ears
67. Wat colour underpants are you wearing: Black
68. Wat song r u listeing to right now? The wonderful sound of my dad working at his desk ... NOT the world's most musical noise
69. Wat are the last 4 digits of yr phone number? 1542 ... what kind of question is this?
70. Where would u wanna go 4 yr honeymoon? How 'bout Italy?
71. Who do u want to spend the rest of yr life with? Oh! Myself, definitely. If someone else comes along for the ride later on, then whoopidydoo, but no-one else at the moment
72. Wats the first thing u notice about da opposite sex? Whether they notice me
73. Favourite sport? Badmington
74. Wat makes u happy? I don't feel like telling ...
75. Wats the next c.d/s you're gonna buy?? Hopefully something by Nightwish, if I can find it
76. Do u wear contacts or glasses? No 78. Have u eva won special awards? Yeah, for art and stories mostly
79. Wat are your future goals? Are you really interested?
80. Worst sickness u eva had: A really high fever when I was five. I had hallucinations, and I still remember them; probably will for the rest of my life
81. Which do u like Funny or Scary movies better? Funny
82. On the phone or in person? Well ... phone's easier in many ways, but in person can be more fun
83. Hugs or Kisses? Both thank you
84. Wat song reflects you the most: Do songs reflect people?
85. If u died tomorrow who wuld u leave everything u own to? If I die tomorrow I'd better get round to writing that will right now ...
86. Do u have any enimies? Not serious enemies
87. Wat is yr greatest fear? Doesn't matter
88. How many ppl on yr contact list? 22
89. How many of them r online at da moment? 6
90. Have u ever been in love? I think so, yes
91. Ever met Santa? oh yeah, i had a swell time with him and the Easter bunny
93. How old r u? Older than young, and younger than old
94. Do u have pets? Fish (and a bunch of puny mortals who obey me ...)
95. Wats your email addy? talhonjik@hotmail.com
96. Last time u were depressed: This morning
97. You an alchoholic? No
98. Who sent this to u? KC asked me to take it from her livejournal
99. Do u want your friends to write back? Sure, go ahead
100. How are u today? On average? Fine, when I'm not suffering from those bloody moodswings ...
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05:00 pm
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Moods ... who NEEDS THEM??? I believe I've gone through 7 moodswings since this morning, alternating between depressed-ready-to-kill-myself and so-happy-I-could-sing. Istn't it remarkable the way no-one ever seems to write about how happy they are on their livejournal? It's all "I'm down" this and "Oh, woe is me" that ... Have you ever thought about that? Does this mean that the people who use livejournal are all constantly, on average, depressed? Or does it mean livejournal is a depressing place to be, automatically killing any happy emotions people have when they enter the site, making everyone write depressing stuff? Hmmm ... I'm currently on my way down from my latest highpoint of my moodswing (Am starting to believe my own second theory about livejournal being depressing). And now I have to go write my mum's essay ... now that IS depressing. Don't talk to me about renaissance recorder history ...
Ooh, a Poem of the Day was born:
It's all your fault dammit I love you because I hate you And I hate you because I love you You intrigue me, dammit! Damn stupid emotions Damn them Damn you If you break my looking glass I'll scream Scream until I die while you stand there laughing in my face This is it No more It was all your fault anyway
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01:21 pm
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I got myself an icon ... *cheers* I'm mostly doing this post to test my new icon ... Interestingly, I wore a skirt today. I don't see what the big attraction about skirts is ... you can't cross your legs, you can't sit with them widespread, you can't do high kicks ... and it's not as if they look much nicer than trousers, anyway. In short, what's the point? And yet ... as a girl, I do see the attraction, although I don't exactly get it ... I shall now close my rant about skirts, seeing as it is pointless, boring, and not going to get me to any huge philosophical or even vaguely interesting conclusion.
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11:17 am
[Link] |  Darkness. You Truly Desire Darkness. You wish everyone around you was either dead, or worshipping you. To you, life is not a gift, but a punishment. You have no consideration for others and do as you please.
PLEASE RATE
What Do You Truly Desire? *PICS* brought to you by Quizilla
 Morpheus
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla
 Your Heart is Black
What Color is Your Heart? brought to you by Quizilla Oh my ... someone's been feeling a bit gothy when she took these ...
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12:57 pm
[Link] | I recently refused to write another word about school, so I am unable to tell you my current location. Isn't belief a funny thing? What is it, really? Some people would say it was religion, but what if you believe in something that isn't religious, like an opinion? What is it then? I suppose belief is really being convinced something is right, not supposing it could be untrue. But then is it possible to believe something if you think it might what be true? Is everyone who has ever doubted the existence of god an atheist? I don't think that's right. So belief is something else. Is belief wanting to think something is true? That might work ... but again, it doesn't sound quite right. What if someone decided they wanted to think they could fly? Would you then say they believed they could fly? Probably not. So that's not right, either. So belief isn't exactly thinking something is true or even wanting something to be true. What is it then? At this point some people would probably say that "belief is just belief". And maybe that's the closest we can get. But maybe not. I'll continue this later. You can have a think meanwhile ... :-)
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05:10 pm
[Link] | Ooh ... I can take quizzes ... and look what I got:
 You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.
"And The Vampire was all that remained on the blood drowned creation. She attempted to regrow life from the dead. But as she was about to give the breath of life, she was consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the cycle began again."
Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek) and Isis (Egyptian). The Vampire is associated with the concept of death, the number 9, and the element of fire. Her sign is the eclipsed moon.
As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic individual. You may be a little idealistic, but you are very grounded and down to earth. You realize that not everything lasts, but you savor every minute of the good times. While you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you have strong ties with people that will never be broken. Vampires are the best friends to have because they are sensible.
Which Mythological Form Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Vampire. Whoohoo. I'm SURROUNDED by freakin' vampire fans all day,and then I come home and get THIS on a quiz??? Must go take another better one ...
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